Keeping it at His Feet

I love to pray. I love to just talk to Jesus. He really is my best friend. It amazes me that He knows me, knows all my secrets, my failures, my inadequate times, my sins and He loves me. He truely loves me.

He doesn't love me less than He did when I was younger and skinnier. He knows what I need to work on but He won't love me more when I purge some sin struggles. He loves me completely and fully right now.

He pursued me. He was beaten, tortured, mocked and brutally killed for me! My name was on His heart when He obeyed the Father on that terrible day.

I can never thank Him enough. I can't get enough of Him. I just love talking to God, the one I can trust with all my tears, fears, doubts, worries and hopes.

I am really good at taking things to Him. One thing I am working on is leaving it there. I tend to want to take back my fears, worries and doubts. I want to see the future so I know if He says "yes" to my hopes.

My big prayer is to complete our family with a husband. I loved being married. It wasn't always sunshine and honeymoon time, but it was wonderful. I was shattered, broken, in a thousand pieces when my ex was arrested and sentenced and the divorce followed.

It has been 5 years now. God has picked up each of those pieces. My heart isn't shiny and new. You can see that it has been repaired & mended. As I talk with Him and tell Him my hopes I have to remember the mended heart and be patient. To trust God with this deep desire and to leave it with Him.

As James tells us in his first chapter, I am to pray and not doubt, to pray and expect an answer. I have the praying part (not figured out but I practice a LOT) the not doubting is hard!

I have to remember that even if He says "No" I have something wonderful in my relationship with Him and I have the precious girl He gifted to me.

Comments

Family Photos & Back to School Photos

In mid August my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. A big deal in a country where it is stated half of all marriages last less than 10 years. As a way to celebrate, my gift to my parents and our whole family, was to pay a professional photographer to take family photos. A way to commemorate having both daughters and all three grand kids in the same room. Originally we were going to have them taken outside at a local landmark. The backdrops would be fun and gorgeous, a mansion for some photos and the mountains for the rest. You can't beat God's artistry as a background for photos, and the mansion is just a fun local area for photos. Well, the weather decided to act up, and Mother Nature threw a little crying fest that morning (the only time we had available for photos) and forced us to relocate. So, we moved inside to our parents' living room. A room were many a photo has been taken. We stretched our photographer's creativity and willingness to work wit...

My Gift

In so many ways this child is my "mini-me", but in just as many other ways we are vastly different. It has been fun to watch her grow and become Snowflake. To see her interests and hobbies emerge. Just like her Mom, she loves comfy & cuddly clothes at night. This outfit sums up her personality. Fun with flair and cozy. Exciting and comforting. While I gravitate more toward Peanuts, Pooh Bear and Calvin and Hobbes, Snowflake chooses: My Little Pony, Shopkins and Paw Patrol. We both agree on the awesomeness of the Berenstain Bears. I have always wanted to be a mom. As a kid I pictured myself as a stay at home mom and wife. We would have 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 cat. Once the kids were all in school I would either be a substitute teacher or a counselor working from home. My reality is not what I pictured, dreamed of and prayed for. My daughter spent her early years in daycare. My ex is in prison for life and our family is: Mom, daughter and 2 c...

Attitude is Everything

She is my darling and I love her. I love her strong will, even while I butt up against it. She will need that strength to get through the rough patches of life. This morning it was out in full force. She was not going to give in for anything. If I had told her to take $1000.00 and buy her favorite toys she would have whined, stomped her foot and refused. How often are we like that toward God? He wants to help us obey and be the best versions of ourselves and we flat out refuse? We take a little bit of discipline and get mad and hurt and then waste time refusing to do what He asks, when doing what we need to do would take less time than arguing? Self-discipline and a spirit willing to do the right thing will lead to joy. God wants to give us joy, but we have to clean up our act first. We have to give Him our obedience, not for salvation, for salvation is only dependent upon faith, but for our ability to receive the good gifts He has for us.

Snowflakes and Joy

Search This Blog