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Keeping it at His Feet

I love to pray.  I love to just talk to Jesus.  He really is my best friend.  It amazes me that He knows me, knows all my secrets, my failures, my inadequate times, my sins and He loves me. He truely loves me.

He doesn't love me less than He did when I was younger and skinnier.  He knows what I need to work on but He won't love me more when I purge some sin struggles.  He loves me completely and fully right now.

He pursued me. He was beaten, tortured, mocked and brutally killed for me! My name was on His heart when He obeyed the Father on that terrible day.

I can never thank Him enough.  I can't get enough of Him. I just love talking to God, the one I can trust with all my tears, fears, doubts, worries and hopes.

I am really good at taking things to Him.  One thing I am working on is leaving it there.  I tend to want to take back my fears, worries and doubts. I want to see the future so I know if He says "yes" to my hopes.

My big prayer is to complete our family with a husband.  I loved being married.  It wasn't always sunshine and honeymoon time, but it was wonderful.  I was shattered, broken, in a thousand pieces when my ex was arrested and sentenced and the divorce followed.

It has been 5 years now.  God has picked up each of those pieces.  My heart isn't shiny and new.  You can see that it has been repaired & mended. As I talk with Him and tell Him my hopes I have to remember the mended heart and be patient.  To trust God with this deep desire and to leave it with Him.

As James tells us in his first chapter, I am to pray and not doubt, to pray and expect an answer.  I have the praying part (not figured out but I practice a LOT) the not doubting is hard!

I have to remember that even if He says "No" I have something wonderful in my relationship with Him and I have the precious girl He gifted to me.


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