Skip to main content

My Heart Walked Down the Sidewalk

I didn't snap a photo.  Which is abnormal for me.  I take 8 gazillion photos because 5 concussions leaves marks.  They have affected my memory. I have memories but I have blank areas too. Things that normal people remember but I don't.  I use pictures too help.

Today I walked with Snowflake to school.  At the edge of the neighborhood/ start of the school property I let her walk on by herself as I watched.

She looked so small yet so confident walking to the playground.  My little girl, walking to school.  Growing up.  It wasn't just any kid walking on that sidewalk, it was my heart.

Today it struck me just how quickly she is growing up now that she is in school. Things are changing.  It is good and it is natural.  I want her to be strong and independent. I want her to have confidence. I want her to enjoy this phase of life.

Yet, that is my baby. I know her fears and worries. I know what bothers her.  I know what is behind the smile.  I know what she has overcome and I know she needs to do to grow and be independent, but a part of me wants to leave her home where she is safe.   I don't because that isn't healthy.

God loves us that much.  He gave us this amazing garden, paradise.  He wanted us there safe and with Him.  He loves us so He gave us the freedom of choice.  When our choice screwed things up, He loved us more and gave us Himself and forgiveness so that we can regain a life in paradise with Him.

People are God's special creation.  We are His heart, His joy.  Are we reflecting that and living in a way that Honors Him? Abba wants nothing more than to love us as our Father.  As His children it is our job to obey our Father, to trust Him and accept Him.

There is so much joy in being a child of God.  So much!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No Sleep & A Friend Who Gets it!

One of the battles Snowflake and I have fought over the last 4.5 years is with sleep. She started out life as the greatest sleeper in the history of baby sleep. Quickly she was sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time. When she was awake she was inquisitive, happy and fun. When she was asleep she was O-U-T, out! She could sleep in the bowling alley! I thought I had birthed the world's best sleeper. I did not deal with new mom exhaustion. I was blessed. AND THEN... Well it started when she was fourteen months old. When our life changed. People say that little humans are resilient, and they are, but they notice and respond to major life changes. They are human after all and trauma affects us all, age doesn't matter. The young, old and in between are all changed by traumatic events, and Snowflake, she has a background with trauma. It isn't easy to lose a parent at any age, when you are too young to understand why that parent vanished and then the other parent moves you to a brand ...

Keeping it at His Feet

I love to pray.  I love to just talk to Jesus.  He really is my best friend.  It amazes me that He knows me, knows all my secrets, my failures, my inadequate times, my sins and He loves me. He truely loves me. He doesn't love me less than He did when I was younger and skinnier.  He knows what I need to work on but He won't love me more when I purge some sin struggles.  He loves me completely and fully right now. He pursued me. He was beaten, tortured, mocked and brutally killed for me! My name was on His heart when He obeyed the Father on that terrible day. I can never thank Him enough.  I can't get enough of Him. I just love talking to God, the one I can trust with all my tears, fears, doubts, worries and hopes. I am really good at taking things to Him.  One thing I am working on is leaving it there.  I tend to want to take back my fears, worries and doubts. I want to see the future so I know if He says "yes" to my hopes. My big prayer ...

I Want Better

You tell me I'm a "Deplorable" because I support Capitalism. You tell me I am dumb and backward and anti-choice because I support adoption, abstinence and condoms. You call me heartless when I want secure borders. You ridicule and mock my religion that is based on love and forgiveness. You scream that I'm killing the globe when I throw away my trash. That is just fine. You say you want equal rights, so do I.  It is fine because I want more for my daughter. I want more than bread lines and government issued food. I want more for her than the guilt, cancer risks and infertility risks of abortion. I want more than allowing terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and child predators into my country (we have enough already). I want more for my daughter than a faith built on chaos and chance. I support a God who loves, forgives, guides and offers a joy filled eternity. I want a clean earth, I'm all for recycling, but I want more for my daughter than spending all of our prec...