In the military there is a saying, "The only easy day was yesterday." If I may be so bold, I'd like to take that quote and apply it to motherhood. Each day has challenges, easy day can be tough. The only easy day is yesterday. Yesterday is easy, because it is over.
I thought that all my daughter's firsts would be wonderful. They are, but they are bittersweet. As we celebrate her accomplishments I know they are moving her forward, growing her up and helping her gain her wings. These are all things I want for her. Yet, it means that we are one day closer to when she uses those wings to fly. Once again, good but when she builds her own nest, mine will be much quieter.
I love the elementary kid that she is. I applaud her for her accomplishments as I'm encouraging more growth. I miss the munchkin she was. I remember the cuddly newborn stage, how sweet it was! Teaching her to walk and watching her take her first steps in my parent's hallway on the gold shag carpet, how exciting! How precious as she would toddle to my arms. The preschool stage as she would tentatively explore her world, yet always keeping me in sight. The first day of kindergarten, full of apprehension yet joy at the end of the day as she ran back to my arms.
Growing up, we all do it. We watch our children do it. We try our best to be the best we can be (another good military quote) for our children. We want to raise, kind, thoughtful, hardworking, wise, good citizens. We also want to fill them with memories. Childhood is just a blink of life and life on earth is just a blink of eternity. Childhood should have some magic in it.
I want Snowflake to grow up with memories of fun, of laughter, of serving others, of using her imagination, of adventures on the weekends or even escaping work and school once in awhile for an adventure. Work and school will be there when we return. School and work are important, but love, life and laughter. Exploring, creating, being a family, that is what matters more. That is what I want to pass on to her, that is the kind of Mom I want her to see in me. A mom that sets boundaries, that teaches values, that models Christ. A mom that is up for a midnight laugh to chase away bad dreams, a mom that creates adventure in the everyday, a mom that values her and is interested in her interests, but has interests of my own.
It is just the two of us, and while having a husband would be nice, I am content just being the two of us. It has taken a long time to get here, but mostly I am content. We live in a safe town, we have a cozy house, she goes to a great school, we have two churches that we love and feel welcome in, two churches that help us grow in our relationships with Christ. Our kitchen has food in it, our car has gas. We have an amazing support system, here and across not only this country, but across the pond as well there are people praying for us and supporting us with kind words and listening ears.
So while the only easy parenting day was yesterday and I don't anticipate it will get easier, I am pretty thankful. There are things I'd change. To have $3000 extra dollars in my bank account each month would be fun! To have Chip and Jo come and remodel my home for free would rock. I'd love to have it turned into a cute little farmhouse. To have help in my yard turning it into an easy to maintain and cute yard would help (my RA makes yard work a misery). I'd love to wake up and have my size 8 body back. Oh how I'd love to be able to home school my Snowflake. I also wish my BFF in Raphine would move to Wyoming.
Wish list aside, God has filled my life with blessing upon blessing. I choose to focus on those. When I focus on what I have; a loving, fun child, I am rich indeed and today becomes a much easier day!
I thought that all my daughter's firsts would be wonderful. They are, but they are bittersweet. As we celebrate her accomplishments I know they are moving her forward, growing her up and helping her gain her wings. These are all things I want for her. Yet, it means that we are one day closer to when she uses those wings to fly. Once again, good but when she builds her own nest, mine will be much quieter.
I love the elementary kid that she is. I applaud her for her accomplishments as I'm encouraging more growth. I miss the munchkin she was. I remember the cuddly newborn stage, how sweet it was! Teaching her to walk and watching her take her first steps in my parent's hallway on the gold shag carpet, how exciting! How precious as she would toddle to my arms. The preschool stage as she would tentatively explore her world, yet always keeping me in sight. The first day of kindergarten, full of apprehension yet joy at the end of the day as she ran back to my arms.
Growing up, we all do it. We watch our children do it. We try our best to be the best we can be (another good military quote) for our children. We want to raise, kind, thoughtful, hardworking, wise, good citizens. We also want to fill them with memories. Childhood is just a blink of life and life on earth is just a blink of eternity. Childhood should have some magic in it.
I want Snowflake to grow up with memories of fun, of laughter, of serving others, of using her imagination, of adventures on the weekends or even escaping work and school once in awhile for an adventure. Work and school will be there when we return. School and work are important, but love, life and laughter. Exploring, creating, being a family, that is what matters more. That is what I want to pass on to her, that is the kind of Mom I want her to see in me. A mom that sets boundaries, that teaches values, that models Christ. A mom that is up for a midnight laugh to chase away bad dreams, a mom that creates adventure in the everyday, a mom that values her and is interested in her interests, but has interests of my own.
It is just the two of us, and while having a husband would be nice, I am content just being the two of us. It has taken a long time to get here, but mostly I am content. We live in a safe town, we have a cozy house, she goes to a great school, we have two churches that we love and feel welcome in, two churches that help us grow in our relationships with Christ. Our kitchen has food in it, our car has gas. We have an amazing support system, here and across not only this country, but across the pond as well there are people praying for us and supporting us with kind words and listening ears.
So while the only easy parenting day was yesterday and I don't anticipate it will get easier, I am pretty thankful. There are things I'd change. To have $3000 extra dollars in my bank account each month would be fun! To have Chip and Jo come and remodel my home for free would rock. I'd love to have it turned into a cute little farmhouse. To have help in my yard turning it into an easy to maintain and cute yard would help (my RA makes yard work a misery). I'd love to wake up and have my size 8 body back. Oh how I'd love to be able to home school my Snowflake. I also wish my BFF in Raphine would move to Wyoming.
Wish list aside, God has filled my life with blessing upon blessing. I choose to focus on those. When I focus on what I have; a loving, fun child, I am rich indeed and today becomes a much easier day!
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