Snowflakes and Joy

Growing up Mother's Day was a day to make cards, go out to lunch and give special hugs to my Mom and Grandma. It was a day to call my other Grandma. We tried to make it special, the way kids do when we think that every day is Mother's day. Then, I went to college and on February 2, 2002 in the early morning hours two men raped me and one of them made me a mother myself. By that Mother's Day I was a mom without even a baby in my womb. God called Angela, my angel baby home. She skipped this life for an eternity with her Savior and mine. A life exploring Heaven where one day she will give her Mom a tour and I will finally get to meet her. It will be a meeting a life time in the making. A day of joy. A day to see her precious, Jesus designed face for the first time. To hug the child that made me a Mom! It will be a day only topped by seeing our Savior face to face. The Savior she is probably right now singing to with a sweet voice. 10 years later I was finally a Mom with a

There is a kid's book (actually part of series) called, God Gave Us You. I love it and Snowflake loves it. It is one of our favorite bedtime books. After we read it she will ask, "Mom, tell me how God gave me to you and my dad." So I will tell her our (7 year appropriate) love story. Lately it has morphed into, "Tell me why my Dad decided to go to jail. Tell me why he isn't part of our family. What did we do wrong?" I've struggled for a long time figuring out what to tell her about her dad. She knows he is in jail, but that is about it. His crimes are not for a 7 year old to have to know about. Heck, I hate knowing what he did and all the people he hurt, his daughter being a major hurt party. His whole family. I still hurt at times. I've moved on in my heart. Our love story ended when he chose to do what he did, I just didn't know for a long time that I was living in our epilogue. Every night when we pray, she asks for God to watch over her D

A lot of the country is experiencing the joy and beauty of late Spring. Next month will be summer. Here in Wyoming we are experiencing 4th Winter. May 1st and we have a couple of inches of wet, slushy snow and more keeps falling. It looks more like early March than May Day. Yet, just a couple of days earlier it was beautiful and spring like here in town. The weather changes and we can't totally predict it. Our meteorologists do their best, but even the experts can't totally predict it. Everything changes. The saying goes, "The only certain, things in life are death and taxes". While somewhat funny, it is true. Life is about change. Change is a constant. Life is a continual adaptation to change. I am not someone that really likes change. I like to get in a groove and stay there for a good while. I like to keep friends for life. I wear clothes that are old, because I'm comfortable with my wardrobe and see no need to change it. The one thing I like to change is t