Last night was rough at our house. The Snowflake girl did not want to behave and had to have consequences. Even at 6.5 years old she struggles to connect that consequences are for things she already did, not what she may or may not do in the future. I do my best to let the consequences match the behavior. So, she fell asleep mad at Mommy after crying herself to sleep because she was mad that after throwing things they had to go up on the closet shelf.
There is a reason the Bible warns us to not let the sun go down on our anger. Snowflake is a prime example of why God through Paul warns us to fix things before we go to sleep. This morning was a continuation of last night. She didn't want to get up, she refused to eat breakfast, she refused to get dressed till 5 minutes before her school bell was going to ring.
When I say refused, she didn't say "No Thank You". She had an all out tantrum. Hitting, kicking, it was not a pretty sight. She eventually got dressed and we made it to school just as the 2nd bell rang, but as I knew would happen (because it happens every time we have a melt down at home in the morning) she did not want to go to class and did not want me to leave and go to work.
Snowflake has some (read A LOT) of anxiety that she is working through. "Are you going to pick me up today? You won't forget me will me? Do you still love me?" So many worries for one so young. And she KNOWS that Mommy loves her to infinity and beyond, no matter what, forever and ever. I've never given her reason to believe that I won't be there for her or that I'd forget her. I couldn't. Jesus is my number one and she is my number two. She means the world to me, even when I'm looking for military schools in outer Mongolia for her!
Today isn't the first day we've had this scene, and finally we got to the root of her issues, "Daddy left me and he loved me. So, you could too. The police could take you away like they did my Daddy, and then I'd be all alone. Or you could die like Great Granny did. I don't want you to go and never come back. I need to be with you."
She has asked, so I've told her, "Your Dad some things that were really bad and he had to go to prison, but that won't happen to us if we follow the laws and I like to follow the rules." So she knows she is as protected as I can make her. Yet, anxiety is a crazy thing. The mind plays tricks on us and Satan and his minions like to help it along and all heck breaks loose and we fear things we shouldn't.
We are working through it and I have to remind myself on mornings like today, that we will get through them. Though it is hard. It is hard to leave her when she is struggling, but she was talking with a staff member and she needs Mom to leave and not let things drag out, but it is hard. My instinct to grab her, take her home and just have Mommy and Me day.
Yet, I do what is best for her and that is to let her stay, work through her struggles and then at the end of the day be there for her. Love doesn't always mean giving hugs, snuggles and watching movies together. Love sometimes means letting our little people work through the tough stuff and gain a wee bit more independence, knowledge and security. Security in seeing Mom go to work and then come back at the regular time to get her.
So, at work I am, about ready to clock in for day, praying for my little one to have a good day and to remember that she is incredibly loved. She is loved beyond the cross by her Savior and forever and ever by her Mom. Now, I need to leave her in those loving arms of her Savior and focus on helping people hear better!
There is a reason the Bible warns us to not let the sun go down on our anger. Snowflake is a prime example of why God through Paul warns us to fix things before we go to sleep. This morning was a continuation of last night. She didn't want to get up, she refused to eat breakfast, she refused to get dressed till 5 minutes before her school bell was going to ring.
When I say refused, she didn't say "No Thank You". She had an all out tantrum. Hitting, kicking, it was not a pretty sight. She eventually got dressed and we made it to school just as the 2nd bell rang, but as I knew would happen (because it happens every time we have a melt down at home in the morning) she did not want to go to class and did not want me to leave and go to work.
Snowflake has some (read A LOT) of anxiety that she is working through. "Are you going to pick me up today? You won't forget me will me? Do you still love me?" So many worries for one so young. And she KNOWS that Mommy loves her to infinity and beyond, no matter what, forever and ever. I've never given her reason to believe that I won't be there for her or that I'd forget her. I couldn't. Jesus is my number one and she is my number two. She means the world to me, even when I'm looking for military schools in outer Mongolia for her!
Today isn't the first day we've had this scene, and finally we got to the root of her issues, "Daddy left me and he loved me. So, you could too. The police could take you away like they did my Daddy, and then I'd be all alone. Or you could die like Great Granny did. I don't want you to go and never come back. I need to be with you."
She has asked, so I've told her, "Your Dad some things that were really bad and he had to go to prison, but that won't happen to us if we follow the laws and I like to follow the rules." So she knows she is as protected as I can make her. Yet, anxiety is a crazy thing. The mind plays tricks on us and Satan and his minions like to help it along and all heck breaks loose and we fear things we shouldn't.
We are working through it and I have to remind myself on mornings like today, that we will get through them. Though it is hard. It is hard to leave her when she is struggling, but she was talking with a staff member and she needs Mom to leave and not let things drag out, but it is hard. My instinct to grab her, take her home and just have Mommy and Me day.
Yet, I do what is best for her and that is to let her stay, work through her struggles and then at the end of the day be there for her. Love doesn't always mean giving hugs, snuggles and watching movies together. Love sometimes means letting our little people work through the tough stuff and gain a wee bit more independence, knowledge and security. Security in seeing Mom go to work and then come back at the regular time to get her.
So, at work I am, about ready to clock in for day, praying for my little one to have a good day and to remember that she is incredibly loved. She is loved beyond the cross by her Savior and forever and ever by her Mom. Now, I need to leave her in those loving arms of her Savior and focus on helping people hear better!
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