Skip to main content

Done with Love

I am far from perfect.  Some might even say I am not very good.  You either like me or you don't. I am ok with that.  I don't need everyone to be my friend.

I cancel plans on short notice. I am pretty much a hermit. I don't like parties. I prefer small gatherings. I am not artistic. I am quirky. I don't care about fashion. I need to lose weight.

Six years ago I was a pregnant mom in the last trimester. My life had already changed. It was no longer about me. There was a little girl totally dependent upon me and my choices.  Selfishness had to vanish.

Snuggles on the couch while reading or watching TV became my new Friday night. Formula went on the shopping list and new books went off.  My needs and wants became secondary to her needs.

Four and a half years ago our family of 3 became a team of 2. Pennies are pinched and luxuries became Happy Meals and dolls. I'd much rather see the clutter of toys and coloring books than a living room that would feature on a glossy magazine.

It isn't that I am not important, I am.  I have an identity outside of being a mom, but right now my daughter is young and I live her forever and ever. .  We are making memories, following traditions and creating our own.  We are busy laughing and playing, we are baking and dancing.

I truly enjoy experiencing life through her eyes.  Filling her love bank so that as she grows and then hits the adult world she will have fun stories to pass on to her children.

I am still me.  I enjoy ME things but my priority right now is us.  I am a Mom and I wouldn't change it for the world.  Joy comes in embracing the roles God has given to us.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No Sleep & A Friend Who Gets it!

One of the battles Snowflake and I have fought over the last 4.5 years is with sleep. She started out life as the greatest sleeper in the history of baby sleep. Quickly she was sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time. When she was awake she was inquisitive, happy and fun. When she was asleep she was O-U-T, out! She could sleep in the bowling alley! I thought I had birthed the world's best sleeper. I did not deal with new mom exhaustion. I was blessed. AND THEN... Well it started when she was fourteen months old. When our life changed. People say that little humans are resilient, and they are, but they notice and respond to major life changes. They are human after all and trauma affects us all, age doesn't matter. The young, old and in between are all changed by traumatic events, and Snowflake, she has a background with trauma. It isn't easy to lose a parent at any age, when you are too young to understand why that parent vanished and then the other parent moves you to a brand ...

Fatigue is Evil

In 2009 while at seminary I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and its bedfellow Chronic Fatigue. Finally after years and multiple misdiagnosis issues, I had answers.  I could put a name to what my body was doing.  It isn't pretty folks. And no, I'm not too young.  RA can hit anyone at any age. I can cope with the pain. I have strategies for that.  What I really hate the most is the fatigue.  Fatigue is not just being tired or sleepy.  This is more.  Imagine carrying an 80 pound pack up your state's tallest peak with no training.  Picture yourself at the top. That is not even enough.  Fatigue is in your bones, in your head, your muscles, each cell is weary, beyond weary. Fatigue is part of many other disorders.  For those with pain disorders part of it comes from being in pain ALL. THE. TIME. The pain can sometimes be masked, but it is a partner for life. What is the hardest is being this weary and not able to go on walks, to ...

Family Photos & Back to School Photos

In mid August my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. A big deal in a country where it is stated half of all marriages last less than 10 years. As a way to celebrate, my gift to my parents and our whole family, was to pay a professional photographer to take family photos. A way to commemorate having both daughters and all three grand kids in the same room. Originally we were going to have them taken outside at a local landmark. The backdrops would be fun and gorgeous, a mansion for some photos and the mountains for the rest. You can't beat God's artistry as a background for photos, and the mansion is just a fun local area for photos. Well, the weather decided to act up, and Mother Nature threw a little crying fest that morning (the only time we had available for photos) and forced us to relocate. So, we moved inside to our parents' living room. A room were many a photo has been taken. We stretched our photographer's creativity and willingness to work wit...