The Blessing in the Mess

This photo sums up my life right now. Messy and blessed. This is my Snowflake's version of a clean room. "Mommy all my snuggle buddies are near each other. Like with like Mommy."

In my eyes this room is the scene of a category 2 hurricane. The bed is a disaster, the animals escaped their pen, the rug has been displaced, and on and on! I could not function in there.

Somehow my precious child can go into that disaster zone and her imagination takes over and she has fun!

So even in this mess I see blessings. This picture is in our home. We have a cozy in the wind and rain home. We have beds and blankets, closets full of clothes. We have: toys, books, games, puzzles, movies and a plethora of things. So much so that I have been purging lately. Our pantry and fridge are full.

I don't take any of this for granted. It can all be gone in the blink of an eye. Fire, tornado, flood, robbery, you name it. Disasters can happen.

Joy comes when we realize that it isn't stuff that matters it is people and relationships. It is the memories attached to the stuff. It is family and friends. It is a quiet moment with the people you treasure. It is an hour in prayer just talking with God.

So, her room is a mess. I learned to value cleanliness and order and so will Snowflake in time. For now I enjoy what this picture represents- my daughter.

Comments

No Sleep & A Friend Who Gets it!

One of the battles Snowflake and I have fought over the last 4.5 years is with sleep. She started out life as the greatest sleeper in the history of baby sleep. Quickly she was sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time. When she was awake she was inquisitive, happy and fun. When she was asleep she was O-U-T, out! She could sleep in the bowling alley! I thought I had birthed the world's best sleeper. I did not deal with new mom exhaustion. I was blessed. AND THEN... Well it started when she was fourteen months old. When our life changed. People say that little humans are resilient, and they are, but they notice and respond to major life changes. They are human after all and trauma affects us all, age doesn't matter. The young, old and in between are all changed by traumatic events, and Snowflake, she has a background with trauma. It isn't easy to lose a parent at any age, when you are too young to understand why that parent vanished and then the other parent moves you to a brand ...

Keeping it at His Feet

I love to pray. I love to just talk to Jesus. He really is my best friend. It amazes me that He knows me, knows all my secrets, my failures, my inadequate times, my sins and He loves me. He truely loves me. He doesn't love me less than He did when I was younger and skinnier. He knows what I need to work on but He won't love me more when I purge some sin struggles. He loves me completely and fully right now. He pursued me. He was beaten, tortured, mocked and brutally killed for me! My name was on His heart when He obeyed the Father on that terrible day. I can never thank Him enough. I can't get enough of Him. I just love talking to God, the one I can trust with all my tears, fears, doubts, worries and hopes. I am really good at taking things to Him. One thing I am working on is leaving it there. I tend to want to take back my fears, worries and doubts. I want to see the future so I know if He says "yes" to my hopes. My big prayer ...

I Want Better

You tell me I'm a "Deplorable" because I support Capitalism. You tell me I am dumb and backward and anti-choice because I support adoption, abstinence and condoms. You call me heartless when I want secure borders. You ridicule and mock my religion that is based on love and forgiveness. You scream that I'm killing the globe when I throw away my trash. That is just fine. You say you want equal rights, so do I. It is fine because I want more for my daughter. I want more than bread lines and government issued food. I want more for her than the guilt, cancer risks and infertility risks of abortion. I want more than allowing terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and child predators into my country (we have enough already). I want more for my daughter than a faith built on chaos and chance. I support a God who loves, forgives, guides and offers a joy filled eternity. I want a clean earth, I'm all for recycling, but I want more for my daughter than spending all of our prec...

Snowflakes and Joy

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