Snowflakes and Joy

I apologize, it has been a month since I last shared some thoughts.  The month went by quickly! A month of growth, daily stuff and life lessons from God.  Here in the wild west, where we have a bar or brewery on every block downtown, Spring has finally arrived.  Longer days, fewer blankets on the beds and birds singing.  This winter gal has to admit there are a few perks to Spring.  My RA has been flaring up and bringing forth a few new symptoms.  Not fun ones either like weight loss and thick curly hair.  Nope.  I get itchy rashes all over.  So, we add Benedryl to my pill count.  RA is one of the yucky things in my life and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  I grew up listening to bands like 4Him. On one of their old albums (Face the Nation) is a song simply titled, "Why". It is about asking God why some people are forced to go through so much yuck. I'm not typically a why me person, but that song has always stuck with me....

First, I should point out that many doctors now call it Rheumatoid Disease because it is an auto-immune disorder it isn't the same as what happens in normal joints as we age.  So RA/RD whatever we call it I was "blessed" or cursed with it. It is awful.  It is miserable.  It is a life changer.  Out of necessity my life is planned around my disease. I try to not let rule my life but I have learned if I don't listen to my body I will be worse off. I can only physically do so much.  Take today.  It was a good thing I didn't have to be at work.  I was home in bed.  Crying in pain after taking my legally prescribed high dose pain pills.  I tried ice.  I tried a shower.  The shower is normally my best bet, but then it took 23 minutes to get dry and in pjs. RA/RD affects so much.  I get so weary of it. Yet, I am also thankful.  Not for having it, that would be crazy, but for what it has taught me and is teaching my daughter....

Parenting is beautiful. It is middle of the day, just because hugs. It is art projects brought home that say, “I love you.” It is watching and helping them achieve milestones. It is playing together, laughing together and creating memories together. Parenting is ugly. It is middle of Home Depot tantrums because the child is B-O-R-E-D bored and hungry and you have been there for 1.78 hours, in the same part of the store. It is discipling the child because they need to know that disrespecting their elders is not ok. It is getting them to admit the truth when they’ve been telling a lie. It is finding 4 week old milk under their bed. It is cleaning up diaper blowouts in the middle of a road trip. It is praying they get back on the straight and narrow when they’ve veered off and become “wild” Parenting is mundane. It is helping them write their anchor (spelling) words 3 times each, figuring out the new math or helping with the dreaded science fair project. It is singing the same song...

For unto us a child was born.  Unto us a SAVIOR was given.  Christmas and Easter go hand in hand. The baby in the manger grew up to be the perfect Son of God, the Lamb without blemish who allowed Himself to be our reconciliation to God.  He died and He rose again! Happy Easter and Hossanah! Growing up our Savior was perfect.  He obeyed perfectly. Mary and Joseph asked Him to do something, He did it. His chores were done quickly and Mary could nap knowing Jesus would not cause trouble.  My child on the other hand.  Let's just say she resembles Adam and Eve more than Christ.  You want an example? Sunday is a good example.  Yesterday we made it to church and then Snowflake had earned a ticket for being super helpful all day Saturday.  She redeemed it for lunch at McDonald's after church. We went. While there my head started to really hurt and BAM! Just like that the aura before the migraine.  Add on the early stages of a child dev...

I know, it should be obvious but let me state it anyway. I can't stop time. You can't stop time. Time stops for no one. Six years ago I gave birth to my sweet, stubborn, strong willed, smart, sassy, silly, creative and loving Snowflake. I know it has been six years, but it is hard to deal with. Together we have walked the path abandonment and betrayal. I lost my husband and she lost her daddy. We went from a family of 3 and trying for our 4th family member to a family of 2. We moved 2000 miles across the country and started life anew. We began to grieve our loss and grow into the new family and individuals that we were becoming. Life changed through pain but we chose not to be mired in the pain. It has been five years now. Five years of living. Five years of gaining perspective on all that precipitated the pain. Five years of growing. Five years of laughter. Five years of love. Five years of being a duo. Five years for me being a single mom. Motherhood is an amazing, ch...

I yell, I lose my temper, I don't always budget and follow it perfectly.  I need to shed 45 pounds.  Snowflake's lunch is not always a perfect balance of the food groups.  My fashion sense can best be described as "comfortable".  I don't always have long prayers or spend as much time in Scripture as I'd like.  Snowflake's baths are sometimes hurried and I forget to remind her to brush her teeth. I am far from perfect.  I feel at times like I am screwing up.  Especially when I hear from the school, "Your daughter got impatient & head butted a kid." Then, I remember all the snuggles and cuddles.  The "I love you more"s. The kind things she does for me and others.  She is not perfect.  She has my temper. She is quick to realize her errors and apologize.  It is ok for her to have bad days. They are natural.  It doesn't mean I am a parenting failure.  It is ok for me to have bad days.  Bad days are a sign of huma...

Being a single parent is not easy.  There is a reason God designed families to have 2 parents.  It is 24/7/365. You are always a parent.  1:30 am coughing fit and you are up taking care of it. You are still up at 2:37 am trying to coax the child back to sleep knowing that at 6:45 am the alarm clock will obnoxiously signal time for the new day to begin. Not to mention single parents carry the whole weight. Single parents can not "tag" out and let the other one handle it for a wee bit.  As a single parent with no child support that also means I am her only source of income.  Everything rests on my shoulders. I want to raise a child who grows into a woman of Biblical character.  While I am her sole parent I am not doing this alone.  The secret for single parents is to remember truth at 2:47 am.  Remember the tribe you have around you.  You have friends willing to help, and if you are so blessed you have family too. They may not be there in t...