Snowflakes and Joy

I know, it should be obvious but let me state it anyway. I can't stop time. You can't stop time. Time stops for no one. Six years ago I gave birth to my sweet, stubborn, strong willed, smart, sassy, silly, creative and loving Snowflake. I know it has been six years, but it is hard to deal with. Together we have walked the path abandonment and betrayal. I lost my husband and she lost her daddy. We went from a family of 3 and trying for our 4th family member to a family of 2. We moved 2000 miles across the country and started life anew. We began to grieve our loss and grow into the new family and individuals that we were becoming. Life changed through pain but we chose not to be mired in the pain. It has been five years now. Five years of living. Five years of gaining perspective on all that precipitated the pain. Five years of growing. Five years of laughter. Five years of love. Five years of being a duo. Five years for me being a single mom. Motherhood is an amazing, ch...

I yell, I lose my temper, I don't always budget and follow it perfectly.  I need to shed 45 pounds.  Snowflake's lunch is not always a perfect balance of the food groups.  My fashion sense can best be described as "comfortable".  I don't always have long prayers or spend as much time in Scripture as I'd like.  Snowflake's baths are sometimes hurried and I forget to remind her to brush her teeth. I am far from perfect.  I feel at times like I am screwing up.  Especially when I hear from the school, "Your daughter got impatient & head butted a kid." Then, I remember all the snuggles and cuddles.  The "I love you more"s. The kind things she does for me and others.  She is not perfect.  She has my temper. She is quick to realize her errors and apologize.  It is ok for her to have bad days. They are natural.  It doesn't mean I am a parenting failure.  It is ok for me to have bad days.  Bad days are a sign of huma...

Being a single parent is not easy.  There is a reason God designed families to have 2 parents.  It is 24/7/365. You are always a parent.  1:30 am coughing fit and you are up taking care of it. You are still up at 2:37 am trying to coax the child back to sleep knowing that at 6:45 am the alarm clock will obnoxiously signal time for the new day to begin. Not to mention single parents carry the whole weight. Single parents can not "tag" out and let the other one handle it for a wee bit.  As a single parent with no child support that also means I am her only source of income.  Everything rests on my shoulders. I want to raise a child who grows into a woman of Biblical character.  While I am her sole parent I am not doing this alone.  The secret for single parents is to remember truth at 2:47 am.  Remember the tribe you have around you.  You have friends willing to help, and if you are so blessed you have family too. They may not be there in t...

Some days I feel like I am doing quite well.  My daughter is feeling good and well behaved. She listens and makes good choices.  Parenting is fun.   Then there are the days she hits and kicks and throws tantrums like she is trying to earn a gold medal in tantrums.  Those days I feel like I am failing at this mother game.   At school she is kind, helpful and wants to learn.  I guess that is a good barometer that maybe I'm doing some things right.   During the hard days I have to remind myself that she is 6. She is allowed to be a little kid.  She loves little kid things.   She is helpful and independent.  She is tall and likes to use her height to get into things. She is a typical kid.  She loves to be silly and tells horrible non funny jokes that crack her up and her laughter is infectious. She is 6.  Today is mostly a good day.  She chose her own outfit and dressed herself. She made ...